Lately Pete & I have been on the move constantly. It seems as though we have time for nothing other than work, school, church, studying for school or church, driving, eating, sleeping (sometimes, not nearly enough) and the occasional, but brief nap. This has taken a toll on us both mentally and physically. We have both been sick numerous times this winter and seem to just pass it back and forth to one another. Because of this additive, or rather negative, not only have I fallen behind in my duties of a clean house and yummy meals, but let me tell you - the laundry is sky high. Although all of these activities (school, church, work) are rewarding in different aspects, it often feels opposingly so. I often ponder, 'will this craziness will change once I graduate?' I always assumed that the dust will settle eventually. Pshh, who am I kidding? With graduation comes a full time job of some sort that will take up just as much, if not more time than school. And then babies might get added to the mix? Yikes. All this to say, if you can identify with me, know that there is an outlet for this bombardment we all seem to get caught up in. Jesus! Some of you reading this may roll your eyes. Some of you may agree whole heartedly. Some of you have already closed this window. But listen. We as humans were created to rely, to need, to love and to be loved. We wanted to be relied up, and need others whom we can rely upon. Those that rely on us love us and we in turn love those whom we can rely upon. Does that make sense? Let me give an example before you stop reading. Early on in our marriage, I relied upon my husband for all of my needs: emotional, spiritual, physical, mental - everything. He was my hero and my problem solver and I loved him so much that I wanted to be everything for him, and have him be everything I need. But we as humans are imperfect. Now that's not to say my husband isn't awesome, he is, he is the love of my life and gets me like no one else. However, no matter how great a person is, that person has needs too. It took me a while to realize that. Pete can't be everything for me, because I can't be everything for him. The reason that Christ can meet all of our needs is because He has no needs of His own. He is completely selfless. So selfless that He gave up His own life on the cross. His own physical life. How many of us would give up our lives? Maybe for a loved one, or our own child, but for your adversary? Your greatest enemy? Some people don't believe in Jesus, or that He was a real man who came to this earth, that's another discussion entirely. But Jesus loves them still, regardless of their acceptance of Him. Personally I find it hard enough to love people that I care for but disagree with, let alone people that hate me. My point is, whether or not we choose to love God, He doesn't need our adoration, our love, or commitment to Him. He desires those things from His children, but He doesn't need them from us. We are unworthy of what our Heavenly Father provides to us. He is the reason I live, and the reason I strive. He is my solid rock my strength, the provider of my energy when I have nothing left to give, my Daddy who loves me unconditionally and the giver of hope when I can't seem to put one foot in front of the other. If you don't know this Jesus that I speak of, the One who knows the number of hairs on your head, the number of days you will live, and the only One who will never leave you nor forsake you, please take the time to do so. How? Read the bible. Pray. Ask the Lord for enlightenment and movement in your life. Find a church that teaches the bible, and a body of believers who seek the kingdom of God and genuinely love one another. I challenge those of you, as I do myself to put Christ first. To pursue our bride-groom as He pursues His bride.
Lately Pete and I have been praying a lot about the Lord's will for our life and what that may entail. We both have a heart for sharing the word of God and taking it forth to wherever the Lord may call us. I mention this because as my school career comes to a close this August, I am not quite sure where my life will be. It will be the first time in a long time that I have not had concrete, absolute, root bearing plans for myself. It's kind of liberating to think about. So far in the past few years I have felt a peace about finishing school and I know that the Lord has this in His will. But I can't help but ask, what's next Lord? For my current career path, I don't have many options with just a bachelor's degree of science. I can only practice for so long with that. But to be honest, I don't even have a desire to practice with just a B.S. under my belt. To compare what that would be like to something more understandable would be the Average Joe reading books about anatomy of humans, how to put on bandages, and learning to write up a prognosises for two years in a classroom with no other experiences, THEN being thrown in the E.R. with high expections to perform with experience and knowledge of any trained Docter. Okay, maybe not that severe, but pretty close. The other option is to attend Grad School, and pay lots of money to get that experience needed to provide ethical, experienced and educated theraphy. My degree of Speech Pathology is a Humanistic Career, changing lives. I don't feel quite apt for such a task, nor a desire at this moment in time. Don't get me wrong, I have a desire to change lives, just in a different way - an eternal way. I know for sure that I would regret not finishing my degree, but I also know in my heart I have no desire to continue on with my education at this point. I want a break for goodness sake and from where I see it, it's been a long time coming. So, all this word vomit to say, just pray. Pray for direction in our life. Pray that either the Lord will instill me with a desire to continue my education if that is His will, or that He will guide us to whatever else it is we are to do for Him. I am willing to go wherever the Lord leads, be that easy to say, I know that Lord's will is the will we want for our marriage and life. Thank you to all of you who continually support us through prayer, Godly counsel, and friendship. Love you all.